Cel­e­brant: With that, I ask you right now,
Will you an­swer me right now,
These ques­tions, as your wed­ding vow?

Bride and Groom: Yes, I will an­swer you right now,
Your ques­tions as my solemn vow,
Bride: Pro­vid­ed our guests don’t have a cow.

Cel­e­brant: Will you love him if he’s rich?
Will you love her in a ditch?
From to­day un­til the end of time,
Even if his words don’t rhyme?

Groom: I will love her if she’s rich
Bride: And I will love him in a ditch
Groom: And I will even love her when she’s be­ing a b…eautiful princess.

Cel­e­brant: Will you love him for rich­er, for poor­er,
Will you love her for qui­et or snor­er,
From to­day un­til the cows come home,
And nev­er stop writ­ing goofy po­ems?

Bride: I will love him if he’s poor.
Groom: I will love her if she snores.
Bride: And I will love him when he’s a bore.

Cel­e­brant: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death do you part?
Will you have and for­ev­er hold,
Each oth­ers’ hearts ‘till the stars grow cold?

Bride and Groom: I will love her/him for­ev­er a thou­sand fold,
‘Till death do us part and our blood grow cold,
Groom: Or un­til our brains grow mold.

Cel­e­brant: Will you love through good and bad?
Will you love in times hap­py and sad?

Bride and Groom: I will love her/him through good and bad,
And in times hap­py and sad.
Bride: Cause he’s the best friend I ever had.

Cel­e­brant: Will you take him as your mate?
Will you have her as your date?
From this day on and ever more,
No mat­ter what your life may have in store?

Bride and groom: I will have her/him as my mate,
Start­ing on this our wed­ding date.
Bride: May as well, as it’s our fate.

Cel­e­brant: If you’ll be wed through and through,
Please an­swer with the words:

Bride and Groom: I do!

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