Celebrant: With that, I ask you right now,
Will you answer me right now,
These questions, as your wedding vow?
Bride and Groom: Yes, I will answer you right now,
Your questions as my solemn vow,
Bride: Provided our guests don’t have a cow.
Celebrant: Will you love him if he’s rich?
Will you love her in a ditch?
From today until the end of time,
Even if his words don’t rhyme?
Groom: I will love her if she’s rich
Bride: And I will love him in a ditch
Groom: And I will even love her when she’s being a b…eautiful princess.
Celebrant: Will you love him for richer, for poorer,
Will you love her for quiet or snorer,
From today until the cows come home,
And never stop writing goofy poems?
Bride: I will love him if he’s poor.
Groom: I will love her if she snores.
Bride: And I will love him when he’s a bore.
Celebrant: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death do you part?
Will you have and forever hold,
Each others’ hearts ‘till the stars grow cold?
Bride and Groom: I will love her/him forever a thousand fold,
‘Till death do us part and our blood grow cold,
Groom: Or until our brains grow mold.
Celebrant: Will you love through good and bad?
Will you love in times happy and sad?
Bride and Groom: I will love her/him through good and bad,
And in times happy and sad.
Bride: Cause he’s the best friend I ever had.
Celebrant: Will you take him as your mate?
Will you have her as your date?
From this day on and ever more,
No matter what your life may have in store?
Bride and groom: I will have her/him as my mate,
Starting on this our wedding date.
Bride: May as well, as it’s our fate.
Celebrant: If you’ll be wed through and through,
Please answer with the words:
Bride and Groom: I do!