Groom: I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you. From this day forward, I will listen to all of your complaints about the mall if you say them during the off season and promise to retire my baseball cap and face paint for public outings. I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us or you become a White Sox fan.
Bride: I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you. I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise to keep you in the latest Cubs fashions. From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day and will always have plenty of potato chips on hand. I will love you for richer or poorer, as long as our credit limit stays high.