Groom: I, Mad Dog _______________ take ye, Saucy ______________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Good Wench with a stout right hook, the bright dawn of each new day and the soft bed of each day’s night. I promise to love ye and hon­or ye; to make ye laugh when yer feel­in’ out of sorts and pre­tend to lis­ten to ye when ye bab­ble on and on about noth­in’ in par­tic­u­lar. I will pro­tect you from the el­e­ments and the ele­phants should we ever en­counter them as it is my un­der­stand­ing that they can be very large and un­pre­dictable. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or pover­ty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of trea­sure, as I am wont to do, every­one with­in the sound of me voice will know that what I am re­al­ly speak­ing about is you. All of this will I un­der­take un­til there are no hori­zons left to chase and the rum is gone.

Bride: I, Saucy _________________ take ye, Mad Dog __________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Salty Jack with a crooked smile, the fog­gy haze of each new day and the lumpy (but fa­mil­iar) mat­tress of each day’s night. I promise to love ye and hon­or ye; to make ye laugh so hard the rum comes out yer nose and pre­tend to lis­ten to ye when ye bab­ble on about noth­in’ in par­tic­u­lar. I will pro­tect you from my wrath and from gi­raffes which I un­der­stand are very tall and will some­times step on peo­ple be­cause they are not look­ing where they are step­ping. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or pover­ty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of trea­sure, as I am wont to do, every­one with­in the sound of me voice will know that I am day dream­ing again. All of this will I un­der­take un­til there are no hori­zons left to chase and the rum is gone.

 

Vow Used By: Hei­di