But ul­ti­mate­ly there comes a mo­ment when a de­ci­sion must be made. Ul­ti­mate­ly two peo­ple who love each oth­er must ask them­selves how much they hope for as their love grows and deep­ens, and how much risk they are will­ing to take. It is in­deed a fear­ful gam­ble. Be­cause it is the na­ture of love to cre­ate, a mar­riage it­self is some­thing which has to be cre­at­ed, so that, to­geth­er we be­come a new creature.
To mar­ry is the biggest risk in hu­man re­la­tions that a per­son can take.If we com­mit our­selves to one per­son for life this is not, as many peo­ple think, a re­jec­tion of free­dom; rather it de­mands the courage to move in­to all the risks of free­dom, and the risk of love which is per­ma­nent; in­to that love which is not pos­ses­sion, but par­tic­i­pa­tion. It takes a life­time to learn an­oth­er per­son. When love is not pos­ses­sion, but par­tic­i­pa­tion, then it is part of that co-cre­ation which is our hu­man call­ing, and which im­plies such risk that it is of­ten rejected.

– The Ir­ra­tional Sea­son — Madeleine L’Engle